Latest News

2019 Release

Dia De Los Muertos Get Tickets and Shirts Now “Are you serious dom? Not only are your novels long, now they’re in Spanish?” Si! Now let me give you folks a little history lesson.      This year’s Stachetoberfest lands on October 29th, which will be the latest in the year we have ever held the…

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2018 Final Results

Disclosure: As with every year, the final results are two fold. 1st: the re$ults and 2nd: the Polito soap box= life lessons learned. I have highlighted the “results” in red. If you have no interest in matters of the heart, read the red and delete! Enjoy: Oh what a night?! I’ll be honest, 2 weeks…

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2018 StachetoberFest PTSD

2018 StachetoberFest Hello all. This year’s StachetoberFest recipient regime is going to be different than years past. In the past we have supported one great cause. This year the needs are many and therefore we will support several important projects. I will release a series of writings, each highlighting the story of one of the…

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Cop Email #4

Well PD family, I am proud. I went on a vehicle accident the other night in which approximately 8 cops were on scene. Of those 8, I saw 4-6 sprouting mustaches (2 were indistinguishable). I could tell that Therese Ruiz wasn’t growing jack squat! You best black ball that girl until she learn to play…

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Cop Email #2

Warning: They’re all long, sorry. I’m really arrogant and like to hear myself talk.   Puny Firemen Seeking the Help of Bold and Brave Muscle Bound Cops Congratulations brothers and sisters, you have successfully endured the first of many (long) sarcastic emails from a fireman you may or may not know, hate, love, detest or…

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Cop Email #1

Caution: This email contains an excessive amount of sarcasm and may be found offensive to type A personalities…enjoy Attention Donut-Eaters, We (FD) were heartbroken at the loss of Officer Laura. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose one of my brothers or sisters, especially in such a way, with the circumstantial wreckage…

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Growth Encouragement

We of the fire service have been doing ourselves a DIS-service . Many of us have been missing an integral part of our ancient follicular history. Some of you have been looking quite pathetic lately. I’ve seen you strutin’ around the station, naked, the sun reflecting off of your bald upper lip…it’s embarrassing really. You’re…

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Stache Family 2014

Hello Stache Family, It’s that time year again. The time where I inform you that Stache-Tober Fest will be on October 15th at Stone Brewery. That the doors officially open at 5pm although the super-secret pre-drinking/set up will start at 3. I’ll inform you that 350 dinners will be served at 6pm for $30 in…

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2013 Recipient

Alright! Who’s gettin’ the money?? It is with great honor that I tell you now about this year’s recipients. I say “recipients” because Amy Douglas has a 2 year old son, Samuel and is pregnant with her second child. Her husband Christopher, also known as Chris or Topher or Toph or Douglas or Bubbles (don’t ask) was killed…

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