FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS CONCERNING THE NIGHT OF STACHETOBERFEST
A: No, entry is included with the meal.Q: Do I get a custom pint glass to drink my beer in this year?
A: Yes, it comes with your entry ($20)
Q: Dear Dominic, can I wear a speedo to Stache-Tober Fest?
A: Speedo’s are not the 2018 standard but as long as it is an American flag print; I think that would be fine.
Q: Where do I claim my purchases?
A: At the registration table located outside in the front of the brewery (where the easy-up and the fire truck is).
Q: I have an awesome mustache, how do I win a prize?
A: Register your stache at the reg tables and then come to the garden at 7:30.
Q: Can I buy beer at any bar?
A: YES!!!! You can buy beer ANYWHERE at Stone and it will benefit the event.
Q: I heard Stone brewed a special beer in honor of the causes this year, is that true?
A: Yes. It’s called “Smoked Porter” and $2 of every glass goes to the recipients. $1 of the other Stone staple beers goes toward those folks as well.
Q: How much money from my $16 glass of wine goes to the cause?
A: None. We’re at a Brewery not Napa Valley…when in Rome. If you don’t like beer, take your $15, order a water and buy 3 Smoked Porters. Give 1 to the crazy guy with the microphone and 2 to a coupla mustache patrons.
Q: Will there be meals and shirts available at the door?
A: Yes. For all you slackers, there will be meals (procrastination tax applied) and shirts/sweatshirts available (standard price)-till they’re gone.
Q: If dinners sell out can I still eat?
A: Yes. But I’ll warn you it’s a nightmare. You’ll have to wait like any other guest for an inside seat and then order off the standard menu while all your responsible friends are enjoying their reasonably priced meals outside immediately.
Q: You always have bitchin’ prizes, is there a raffle or silent auction this year?
A: YES! You can buy raffle tickets and bid on silent auction items at the registration table or the prize table. There are several items, all proceeds go to the recipients. If you see something you’ve always wanted, like a “Pauma Country Club Golf package,” “2 hours of unlimited food and alcohol for 8,” then why not buy it when it benefits a family in need AND its tax deductible.
Q: Can I buy a fireman?
A: Sure. Just tell us which one you want, they’re pretty inexpensive for what you get.
Q: Should I wear my StachetoberFest shirt to the event?
Q: If I purchased on line and chose local pick-up, does that mean I pick it up at Stone on the 22nd?
A: Yes. If you end up not coming, e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll figure it out.
Q: Where do I park if the lot is full?
A: The building next door is game (the bottling plant, to the Left if you’re facing the brewery). You can park there and walk up the hill. If that’s full as well park across the street or…get creative.
Q: It seems like the seats always fill up before I get there?
A: The early bird doesn’t have to sit on a rock. But if you see an old lady eating in the reeds, be the (wo)man the public thinks you are.
Q: I have all this extra cash and I don’t know what to do with it.
A: We have a boot for problems such as these.
Q: Dominic, why do you constantly make me feel so guilty?
A: Is it working? In all seriousness, if you want to make a “$erio,ooo,u$” donation, we are a 501c3 tax exempt organization- you’ll get full credit.
Q: Dominic, I’m naturally a prick when I’m drunk and tend to try and violate those around me, FYI.
A: Ok. FYI, we run internal security at StachetoberFest. If reasonable people deem your behavior unreasonable, you will be shown the door or the bottom of the pond.
Pass this bad boy on, to anyone attending please.