What’s up party people?! Long time, no see. A lot has happened since last time we drank in the gardens of Stone Brewery…who woulda thought? Things have changed. But you know what hasn’t changed? My pure-bred-100%-testosterone-grown-mustache. Sure, it has a few greys in there, but it’s strong! Strong enough for a toddler to do a muscle-up.
When COVID quarantine was in full effect and Costco was allowing first responders to cut in line, I showed up in a rush after late relief. The line was around the building. The doorman asked for my Fire ID, “Do you have a badge or ID?” I pulled down my mask to respond, he looked at my mustache and waved me in. I continued pulling out my city card and he just waved me off, drew his thumb and first finger across his upper lip, in the shape of a stache, and gave me a thumbs up. As I walked in, out of my periphery, I noticed an impatient member in line throw up his arms at the injustice of my short cut. The old man behind him (who mighta been deaf, cause I heard him from inside the doors) said, “It’s ok, he’s a fireman, did you see his mustache?!” Funny stuff.
StachetoberFest is back folks. Feels like we haven’t seen each other for like 22 months. It’ll be good to commune again…and make fun of your mustaches.
The Fest will take place on October 4th this year. Why the fourth, you ask? Well, it’s obvious. In 1990, 31 years ago, the premier of Beverly Hills 90210 first aired on Fox, why wouldn’t we have it on such a memorable day?
“Oh yeah, of course, that makes perfect sense.”
No one talks about Brenda, Donna, Andrea and Kelly, Dylan, Brandon, and David anymore. I mean, Steve (Ian Ziering) eventually made it big in the B-movie circuit: Sharknado I, II, & III, (Jason Priestly must’ve been so jealous!) but other than ol’ Ian, the rest are but a grunge memory.
You retired fellas are calling each other on the landline,
“Beverly Hills?! Is that a documentary on the Cleavers?”
You younger cats are like,
“What?! Is 90210 the prequel to Friends, Jersey Shores …or the Twilight series I love and adore?”
No, it’s not! 90210 was a classy sitcom where young thespians who soured in the soap opera scene and a few centerfolds, could really expose their talent to the mainstream audience of middle and high school girls (and apparently a few guys…I just overhead a few lines when my sisters watched it religiously on Thursday nights).
So, when you’re having a cold one in October, pour some out for Luke Perry, God bless his heart-throbbing soul. If he was still alive, I’m sure he’d have a mustache.
Anyways, Stachetober is re-igniting. Here’s what I DO know:
- It’ll be on October 4th, at Stone Brewery, 1999 Citricado Pkwy, Escondido, at 5pm until close.
- There will be an entry fee.
- There will be t-shirts (they look good, we’ll release ‘em in the next post).
- There will be dinner offered as always. Those who choose not to partake can fight for a server to request that the one remaining chef can whip up some cauliflower tacos or maybe a nice charcuterie board. We hope to provide a similar buffet as in year’s passed for a similar price. Since our nation printed $10+ Trillion in 2020 ($27 billion a day), my fair guess is that the buffet might increase in price, but I promise it won’t exceed a sheet of plywood.
- There will be beer and my hope is that there will be a specialty brew with $ going toward the cause.
- We are not doing the traditional raffle or silent auction cause local businesses are still recovering. It doesn’t feel right to put a hand out to folks trying to keep their lights on.
- There will definitely be a mustache competition with prizes. The grow date starts…NOW!!
“What?! Not even a heads up? I like to lotion my skin for at least 13 days prior to growth, I’m sensitive.”
I know you’re sensitive, it’s time to grow up. Grow your mustache like a man and try not to cry when it gets itchy, at least it’s not herpes (or maybe it is, but you’re used to that).
That’s right, start growin’ those bad boys. Tell your wife it’s for charity. If she’s over 40, she’ll like it. Under? …it’s for charity.
- There will be a recipient(s)…and this is where I could use your help. We had needy folks in line, but they’re good now, thanks to the valiant efforts of their brothers and sisters (Great job Vista! I hope your standard of effort is the norm for other departments in trouble). If you know of a fire folk in need ($), send your proposal to firstname.lastname@example.org
Here’s the DON’Ts:
- I don’t know what the capacity of Stone will be -come October (as of now= fully open).
- I don’t know what interesting requirements will be imposed by the state (no mask mandate at Stone as of today).
- I don’t know who our governor will be.
- I don’t know how much our normal costs (t-shirt, food, pint glasses) have inflated in 22 months and therefore I don’t have your costs yet…soon.
- I don’t have my outfit picked out yet, but I’m working on it.
- I don’t have COVID…anymore, but I did get it last January. So, if I give you a wet willy at the Fest, don’t freak out. My saliva battles disease and you can count yourself as one of the elites, if I choose to bestow it upon you.
- I don’t enjoy eating beef liver…I just can’t figure out a way to make it taste good.
That’s it on that, Sound good?!
So, fine people or fire affiliations, warm up your faces, stay tuned for more information, pass on the word and we’ll talk to you soon.
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