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StachetoberFest 2022 – Aloha – Email 1

Aloha, fellow Haole’s (that’s “white boy,” for the white boys) and other various color of humans! StachetoberFest is fast approaching. After a rough season in life/work, everyone needs a vacation. So that’s the focus of this year. We’re taking a break from it all, Island-themed Fest at Stone Brewery, October 3rd. So, pull out your coconut bras and grass skirts…and tell your wives and girlfriends to dress up too. A vacation is due.

We’ve decided against the rain for this year, we already put in a formal request with the Lord, for clear skies and warm nights. No one enjoys a coconut bra when it’s wet and cold out, and I mean no one. There’s nothing more embarrassing while drinking with your friends and they say. “Franky, your nipples are bleeding! SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A KLEENEX!!” Not good! But…if it is cold, we’ll bamboozle you into buying a sweatshirt, it’s a decent coverup and new sweatshirts are gentle on scabbing nipples.

Here’s the skinny:

  • October 3rd, Stone Brewery, 1999 Citricado Pkwy, Escondido, CA 92029. 5pm till 11.
  • We don’t have a recipient yet. You all know more people than I do. We’re looking for a fire family in need of financial assistance. If we can’t find a needy fire family, we’ll broaden out in the normal fashion (safety, first responders, military, etc.). It always works out. If you have a suggestion, please make your submission to Please put “recipient” in the subject line and then plead your case, including contact info for the potential recipient as well as yourself. Thanks.
  • Cover charge: $20. Sorry for the increase. The pint glasses are $4.16 and the rest goes to straight charity.
  • There will be a buffet as normal $30, as well as a few items available for purchase from the kitchen.
  • There will be an Umi Umi competition (“mustache” in Hawaiian…fun to say), GROW DATE STARTS NOW.
  • There will be a silent auction and/or raffle. We’re raffling off a 1981 Ferrari this year. It doesn’t have any wheels, but apparently it used to go really fast…really, really fast.
  • There will be a department roast…if I get enough information from everyone (Carlsbad! :). Send me your annual dirt, so we can make fun of you: subject line: “roast”. I need material on each department to proceed. Feel free to sell out your neighbors.
  • T-shirts and sweatshirts will be available on the website as well as dinners, tickets, etc. The logo is as seen above, turned out good! Last year is the only wear we didn’t sell out (weird year obviously), buy early if you’re coming.  

Save the date!
Find us a family to support!
Start growing your Umi Umi (8/22)!
Don’t be a douche bag!
More to follow…
PS. If you’re new to this whole bit or just want a refresher (and a giggle), I’ve laid out a short infomercial on StachetoberFest. Enjoy:

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