What’s up younger generation/newer Fest participants?! Welcome to Stachetober 101. Here’s what you need to know:
StachetoberFest started as a party for fire folks. It’s grown to a charity, usually between 6-800 peeps.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed yet. But we’re a little weird…fire folks. Might not feel that way, ‘cause you only hang out with other fire folks, but we are. I asked a retired guy how he was doing and he responded, “It’s weird out here Polito. No one gets my jokes and they hate my stories.” We’re a different breed. Strange folks like us need time together, away from the public.
All the other weirdos seem to get a holiday or a parade (don’t get sensitive, there’s a lot of different parades)…WE drink beer together, every year, at Stone Brewery. Every Fest, I see people I went to medic school with, fire academy, fire classes, application processes, strike team deployments, you name it! It’s like a fire magnet for one night. It’s a place to be yourself, see your peeps, drink good beer, tell stories that make sense, and support your less fortunate colleagues.
We raise money through tickets, beer drinking, raffle, silent auction, food, and straight up donations. This event isn’t like other parties. It’s for firefighters and those that understand them.
Now, what’s the one thing all firemen have, that the public doesn’t?
“A giant truck?”
No
“Huge muscles and a huger ego?”
No
“They get mandatoried on Christmas and other important holidays?”
No
“They know how much a cubic foot of water weighs?”
No
“They hate bums?”
No
“They sleep all night, sit in lazy boys all day, and eat Christmas dinner every shift?”
Nope
“They have a super-hot girlfriend/wife?”
Well…yeah, but that’s not it either.
MUSTACHES!!!! Sheeze! Every respectable fireman has a mustache.
Now I know, some of you young bucks look like a pedophile with a mustache. Some of your significant others put you on pootie-restriction when you have one. I understand. I used to look like a pedophile too. I’m over 40 now, and my mustache has since become very sexy. Don’t ask me why, it just happens, it’s part of growing up. BUT…regardless of your current mustache appeal, it’s different this time. This time, growing a mustache fights cancer, rescues widows, sends orphans to college, and changes the world! It becomes philanthropic (is that a word?! Spellcheck seems to think so). You see all the local firefighters round these parts grow a mustache prior to the night of StachetoberFest, which is on October 3rd. You have 6 weeks to grow the best mustache your follicles have to offer. If you show up without one, you get looks like you forgot your pants and your tackle’s still in middle school. Not good.
Just watch, in the next coupla weeks, you’ll do a zone drill and everyone will be budding out a stache. Don’t waste a day. It’s uniting.
Here at Escondido, we encourage our probies to grow one, it’s a right of passage, and an excuse to test it out. If you already have a glorious mustache, GREAT! Puff that thing up. Get it ready! Mustache’s are making a comeback.
There’s a contest, usually judged by intoxicated females. There’s prizes…and you don’t have to be sexy to win, the ugly ones are the real winners…those are my favorites.
Party starts at 5, goes till close (11). We sell t-shirts and sweatshirts…they’re pretty rad. The rest, you’ll figure out or you can find the info on the website: www.stachetobefest.org . Sign up for our email list and receive the 3-5 emails we send a year. We’ll leave you alone, the rest of the season. See you there.
Peace
dom